The thatched bungalow known as the BungHole sits near a festering nuclear fissure in the earth. Several one-eyed tentacled creatures lurk within the black fetid waters of Bingbang Cove. Oblivious to the stench and loud belching of the family of jumbo squid, the community holds its weekly Kerouakee contest, where the extended family members of Studebaker Flats compete for prizes bestowed by the Tiki Gods ~ usually a Tiki potion of choice to meet the quota, but sometimes TikiWare or maybe TikiPutty. The Eye of Uncle Tiki watches with approval from the Kahuna Screen.

The boomerang-shaped tables fill up fast and there's a brimming Mai Tai at every seat. Up first on the big outdoor stage as Dean Martin ~ martini in hand ~ is Satchmo :- not one of the best singers in Studebaker Flats although with a flair for imitation and superior mnemonic skills, being the town schoolteacher in the skills of memory. The crowd shrieks when they hear the first words out of his mouth -:

"Volaré, O-wo,
Let's fly way up to the clouds,
Away from the maddening crowds . . ."

"O-wo-wo-wo!" the glee rises up from the masked mob :- Chubby Checker, Lucille Ball, James Dean, Elvis Presley -: hovering over colossal Scorpion Bowls in the glow of red totem candles. Satch searches the crowd and locates Macadamia in her Judy Garland mask ~ and for the next verse he points directly at her -: 

"We can sing in the glow
of a star that I know,
Where lovers enjoy peace of mind,
Let us leave the confusion
and all disillusion behind,
Just like birds of a feather,
a rainbow together we'll find. . ."

Satch's rendition is fairly perfunctory until he breaks out in perfecto Italiano with his hands in flight imitating birds -:

"Penso che un sogno cosi non ritorni mai piu,
Mi dipingevo le mani e la faccia di blu,
Poi d'improvviso venivo dal vento rapido,
E incominciavo a volaré nel cielo infinito,
Volaré, O-wo,
Cantaré, O-wo-wo-wo,
Nel blu, dipinto di blu,
Felice di stare lassu."

Satch takes down the house. The crowd breaks out in wild applause. "Drinks for Satch! Drinks for Satch!"

Jack Kerouac ~ bartender extraordinaire ~ creates Satch's libation ~ a Diet Zombie ~ light on the apricot brandy with Sweet-n-Low ~ no cherry.

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©2008 Joan d'Arc
Illustrations and Website by Nicholas Ivins